A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Polling Place

This election, more than any other in my life, has been conducted at home and abroad. Obama gave a campaign speech to crowds of concert-goers in Germany. Pollsters are calling Europe and Asia and the Middle East and Puerto Rico and asking them who they think should be President of the United States. And I like their thinking, I really do. It’s cool to know things that aren’t very useful. I have always prided myself on being a fount of useless information: Woodrow Wilson was the last President to write his own speeches for example. And when he left office, he stole all the booze from the White House. So these polls are valuable to the extent that they’ve added to my knowledge of irrelevant trivia. I mean, if we didn’t poll, how could we ever guess that Europe, that bastion of fiscal conservatism, would go for Obama? Is that less predictable than a poll that shows that most people prefer cancer-free lives or believe there really is alien life in outer space? But why aren’t we polling felons, preschoolers, and other disenfranchised and “pre-enfranchised” groups? I’m interested to know what they think about something in which they have no say.


The foreigners (and Puerto Ricans) are also blogging prodigiously about this election. It is not enough that they are being called and asked specifically for their opinions, they are offering them unsolicited and in great detail. Lest you call me hypocritical, let me remind you: I am a registered, informed voter, blogging, though peripherally, about an election in which I participated. For these people, I think the election is a little like another American obsession—the Tragic Death of Playboy Model and Gold-Digger, Anna Nicole Smith. Think about it… it wasn’t news, it had no direct effect on our lives, and yet for days on end, Americans were tuned in and riled up about the death of a reality TV star. The best part is that 85% of Americans told pollsters at Rasmussen Reports that her death got too much media attention and 59% thought the coverage was at best fair—that is, 44% of Americans thought that the coverage should be improved even though there was too much of it. Almost the same percentage of Europeans think Obama would be a better President.


I think the big problem here is the democratization of News. I just saw a feature on foxnews.com which allows viewers to report their own news, cleverly titled "uReport." Just video things and post them. I haven’t checked out any of this content, it scares me too much. I suspect much of it comes from the same people who, with their cavalier approach to grammar and spelling, post ad nauseum to news websites. I don’t care what they think about the news. And I certainly don’t want to know what they caught on film using the camera on their cell phone. Nor do I particularly want their opinion to influence public or foreign policy. More baseless opinions are not as useful as fewer well-founded, considered arguments from experts. But while we are after baseless opinions, I guess it’s ok that we are asking foreigners who they want to vote for. Why not? It’s probably better than pollsters asking Americans how to improve coverage of Britney Spears' latest custody battle.


An interesting contrast: When Angela Merkel was elected in Germany on November 22, 2005, Americans were glued to their television sets and blogging furiously as well. Except they were wondering whether or not Nicole Richie was anorexic. And that is almost as important as who is Chancellor of Germany. A close second really.