Fat People Actually Think They are Healthy People

According to a Thomson Medstat survey, 40% of people classified as obese or morbidly obese claim to practice healthy eating habits and exercise “vigorously” three times per week. The study also found that persons of normal weight eat no fewer meals or snacks than obese persons.

Just to be crystal clear, these people have a Body Mass Index of thirty or higher. To see if you qualify, divide your weight in pounds by your height in inches squared and multiply by seven hundred three. Overweight people score between twenty five and thirty and normal people score between eighteen and twenty five. Healthy eating habits are detailed at www.mypyramid.gov. Vigorous exercise is activity that causes large increases in heart and breathing rates.

Barring divine intervention, it is basically impossible to rigorously follow the guidelines, frequently exercise vigorously and be classified as morbidly obese. You just can’t do it. These people are clearly lying. The question, then, is this: How do they get away with it?

Morbid obesity is not like six alpha mercaptopurine sensitivity[1] or Hydroxyglutaricaciduria.[2] I don’t even know what those things are. You could very easily say to me, “the reason I am the way I am is because I am particularly sensitive to six alpha mercaptopurine.” I would smile, nod and believe you. But the morbidly obese wear their disease on their sleeve, so to speak.

To the morbidly obese, I offer this advice:

1. Don’t lie to me. I am neither stupid nor blind.

2. Follow the lead of the truly great and truly obese: Marlon Brando. You’ve got to own it.

3. Actually exercise vigorously and practice healthy eating habits. Pretty soon you will convince me.



[1] For more information on six alpha mercaptopurine sensitivity see http://www.webmd.com/search/search_results/default.aspx?query=6+alpha+mercaptopurine+sensitivity+
[2] For more information on Hydroxyglutaricaciduria you will have to look somewhere other than webmd.com they don’t have any articles on the subject. That’s how rare it is.