Yesterday, while at dinner with my family, I learned something. Surprise!

Apparently, you can fish for catfish using only your arms. First, you go to a place with catfish (perhaps a special river). Second, you insert your arm into the river. Third, you wait. When a catfish (now, this is the gross part) suctions its way up your arm to your elbow, you jerk your arm out and then flip the catfish onto the riverbank. Then I guess you kill the catfish and eat it.

Short Disclaimer: I have only heard tell of this practice and I personally know no one who participates in this activity. I do not recommend that anyone use this entry as a guide for wilderness survival.

A Second Short Disclaimer: Catfish have teeth like things. This method may hurt more than other, traditional, methods of catfishing.

For those of you who do choose to use this in your next hunting and fishing expedition in spite of my warnings, I also can suggest a location for you to try your hand: on the side of highway 67 between Indianapolis and Martinsville. I think you just stop your truck on the side of the road and walk until you run into a river. You can also stop at a “campground” advertising overnight stays and the opportunity to fish for $3 on a painted piece of plywood. As you might suspect, I have not taken them up on this offer.

Alternatively, persons who crave catfish may choose to buy it from the grocery store. I checked www.peapod.com, you can have it delivered to your front door with twenty four hours notice.

I, for one, rest easier with the knowledge that I can have all the catfish I want without ever wallowing around on a riverbank for one. Phew! What a relief! I know you share my feelings about the necessity for reliable catfish suppliers.

Order quickly, I can assure you I will and I am going to stock up. In a frenzy of Google productivity, I have also searched for some catfish recipes. You can do many things with catfish. For example: you can barbeque it, you can roast it, you can bake it, you can blacken it, you can even serve it in a lovely Cajun etoufe. The phrase “spoiled for choice” comes to mind.

Long story short, I have discovered so many ways to serve catfish that I am thankful I don’t have to lay on my stomach with my arm in a river waiting for a catfish to give me a hickey.